Potpourri

The only time you should ever look back is to see how far you have come.

2024 has been a perplexing year. It started with a lot of promise, definitely produced some moments to savour and ran its own course of highs and lows. However, as curtains draw on it, I must admit that it was a particularly difficult year on all fronts. Looking back, there were moment when I surprised myself positively, some lessons to be learnt and a whole lot more depth to be added to my individuality. 

It started as a pretty good year on personal front - joyous mood, positive outlook, pretty solid support system and enthusiasm to try things. There was an early trip to home - which is always welcome. This was closely followed by a fabulous trip to my friend - one who keeps my balance, adds fun and fervour and keeps me humble. I read books - fiction, self help, literature, grammar and even some bits of physics. My soft corner for good looking shoes stayed intact. In fact this was the year when I transitioned from being an Adidas fanatic to a Nike lover. I managed to make the most of the time that I got during my work trips abroad. It was such a feeling to visit Churchill Downs and checking out the memories and facts around wonder horse Secretariat in the museum. And then there were some lows too. This was a year when I struggled with the boundaries that protected my personal life. I became irregular in my routine. This showed up in standard health metrics. Also, I developed this allergy that gradually became a nemesis and hard to pin-point. My support system went through a lot in their own life during the course of the year. Second half of the year was almost deja vu. It started to resemble a phase of life which was full of doubts, being overly conscious and eventually overthinking. It definitely too some course correction, and is slowly getting back to track. In a nutshell, it was a year that shook me out of slumber. My key takeaways have been to put the boundaries of personal life, keeping the routing intact even if it gets boring and trusting myself a little more while expressing.

At work it was another busy year. I transitioned into a new role and relished the opportunity to incubate a team, onboard them, play an inclusive role in shaping the culture and then driving outcomes. It was something I enjoyed and gradually improved at. I learnt about culture, about people. With engineering at its core, I got to wear multiple hats - ally, coach, mentor, hands-on leadership etc. And yes, I worked on some complex engineering problems in the company of some smart people - learning most times, expressing when needed and influencing at times. Kind words from people time to time kept me motivated and constructive feedback kept me improving. It all sounds good, it could have been better too. There were areas where I held back, or I jumped the gun - an understanding of this will hopefully help out in days to come. As an engineer looking for exciting problems and the opportunity to fiddle around with standard processes, I was looking to make meaningful contributions in couple of large programs at the org. However, it could not happen for different reasons. While I did improve gradually in the course of the year, I definitely struggled with planning my work time - consequently ending up with long hours, exhaustion and more than just at time frustration. All in all, it was a year when I learnt more at work compared to the outcome I delivered.

 So, what do I see 2025 to be like? Well actually, for once, I have not thought about it. I am going to go into the new year with no well laid plans or resolutions. Regardless of the walks of like, personal or professional, in 2025, I just want to be unapologetically myself - being considerate yet have opinions, being humble yet assertive, being an active listener and yet vocal, being respectful and yet direct. I hope I get away without putting undue pressure on my support system due to this :). Let us see how this shapes up eventually.

I wish you all a great new year.

Cheers!

In the world constrained and quiet

A hundred forty is all you get

That's as many words per day

for love, chit-chat, work or dismay

When the phone rings, there is no hello

You point half-n-half for cafe on the go

In this world so different, adjusting to the new way

After spending forty-first, I am staying quiet today

Late at night, I call my love

A laboured silence greets my gentle "hey"

Slowly I whisper "I love you" thirty-two and a third times,

And then the two heats communicate in divine ways!

कुछ अजीब सी है ये दोस्ती हमारी 

थोड़ी हंसी, चंद बातें 

एक मुलाकात, कई यादें 

ख़ामोशी भी है, और है नाराजगी भी

एक झिझक भी है, और है बेबाकी भी 

नोक-झोंक है, हैं काम काज की काफी बातें 

पागलपन भी है, काम नहीं हैं ज्ञानवर्धक वार्ताएं 

जान रहे हैं, पहचान रहे हैं, उम्मीद है बातें यूँ ही रहेंगी जारी 

कुछ अजीब सी है ये दोस्ती हमारी 

Recently the two titans of the world of sports broadcasting met. It was an event in itself - there was excitement in the fandom before they met and the meeting itself was discussed, analyzed and reported like any other big ticket event. It was a meeting of two highly regarded storytellers who excelled at sports broadcasting through their love of the respective sport rather than their experience of playing the game.

Storytelling is an art practised by everybody in the universe in their own way and their own capacity. It is a vital part of our daily communication. At times it is boring and banal while there are times when it connects with the audience and moves them. At times it is the story, most of the times it is the storytellers, those who have excelled at this art, that make the difference. Peter Drury's "CR7 Reunited" still resonates in my ears and probably in the ears of all those football fans who were excited and glued to see Cristiano Ronaldo back in the red and white.

Sachin Tendulkar and the cricket lovers saying farewell to each other was an emotional story, true. However, with "Goodbye great man", Harsha Bhogle brought the emotions of millions of the fans to the fore.

Personable, authentic and vulnerable - great storytellers make you feel the stories as if you are a part of it.

This is not just true of sports. Common households, classrooms, corporate or markets - wherever there are people, there are stories. Talking about the amazing places we saw on our vacation and plans for the next vacation, talking about how our day at office was perhaps a good, bad or regular one, thinking about what I should be doing this weekend - all of us are constantly making stories and telling them through expressions and languages across different platforms including social media. Some of these stories are like flash in the pan while others last a lifetime and beyond - however both potentially shape the collective sensemaking.

If you look at corporate storytelling, stories are used to persuade consumer base and to convey essential messages in an easy way. Stories are essentially bringing brands to life and enabling brands to sell more through customer referrals and experiences. A study conducted by Headstream tells us that customers who love a brand story are 55% more likely to buy their product. Also, 44% are more likely to share the story with others. At the core of every great story is conflict and corporates exercise effecting storytelling to demonstrate how a product or service can help consumers resolve a conflict and improve the conditions in their lives.

I gravitate towards Narrative psychology. It "operates under the assumption that human activity and experience are filled with "meaning" and stories, rather than lawful formulations". I am one of those who agrees with Castle on "... there is always a story". A five year old smiling at me and showing mixed emotions when I meet for the first time, a niece, whom I saw growing up, telling stories of her first job and her new colleagues, a friend sharing experience of her latest vacation, a buddy sharing some distressing moments of the life - I come across several intriguing stories in my regular, mundane life. These storytellers aren't always eloquent, but their stories are great and touch my life in different ways. I believe, it is the same for almost everyone in this world. And then come the likes of Bhogle, Drury, Croft, Harlan and Cozier, they literally make you live and breathe the stories they tell.

I try to share my stories in my way and to propagate some of the ones I come across, as is. Generally, these stories come from experiences - from solitude, from work and from people engagements. There is hope that one day, someday, I'll find the right alchemy to tell a great story and perhaps move people. I am also keen on listening and understanding the stories being told by others, stories of various kinds and magnitudes, stories as articulation of the life experiences. Do you have a story to tell?

"But i was sure i can never be friends with this guy beyond work. I loved working with you like a great business partner. But beyond work, I was clear."

This was my colleague few days after meeting me in person for the first time. She also happened to give a ballpark rating range of how bad this "never be" was. Let us just say that it is better to leave it undisclosed. 

But this is my space and it is my side of story. NJ joined the organization good few months back and we started working projects together. Two things stood out for me - she was smart, and secondly, she was forward looking. Slowly and steadily we settled into an well oiled functioning team driven towards delivering the expected outcomes. Beyond work our conversations were mostly limited to, well, work - just not the designated ones. So, needless to say, aforementioned quote was totally justified. I do have my reservations against the rating though - I mean, really? 

Anyway, long story short, we met, greeted and talked as civilized colleagues. As I anticipated, she carried this aura of any other hard taskmaster around her. Although I never expected her to straightaway meet me with her usual checklist of tasks, I must admit I was pleasantly surprised when I was met with zero work expectations from her side. Despite her best efforts, this pleasant surprise was short lived though! 

Have you ever met people with whom you just connect and become friends? It just happens, no reason, no justification - just happens. I happened to just connect with her. Sounds like just another cliche, isn't it? But it's not. Those who know me well, they are familiar with my punchy one-liners. It just my thing - keeps things light and makes it easy for me to gel with people. It's also one of the most annoying thing about me - i can bore you with these. But me being unapologetically myself, I live by it and well, die by it, metaphorically. However, this only happens when I feel comfortable in my space around people. Otherwise I am one of the drowsiest persons in the world and in this instance I was not. 

Over next four weeks we have come from sensible work conversations to non-sensical "intellectual" talks. We have gone on from serious colleagues to "formally acknowledged" friends. We have had a range of conversations - some straightforward, some convoluting, mostly engaging. We have become unbelievably efficient with the work conversations too - better to close it quickly and perhaps talk about something else. Although we do have some way to go from "chalo" to "chal", "bolo" to "bol", however I have a sense that we can get there. There are some known challenges in between and biggest of them all is that she is a Liverpool fan - can you believe it? The cover pic of this blog tells a story!

In a professional setting, I am very structured, organized and almost polished - putting an obsessive amount of effort in refining your corporate behavior since the time of academics does that to you. So much so that I can be told that, "you are too sophisticated to be from north India". Beyond the boundaries of professionalism, I am very different - often conflicted, fluctuating between too rational and absolutely aloof, and at times an unpleasant paradox. To brag about myself a little, I am a quality mess! Friendship with me in the long run isn't as easy and history has been on the same page with me on this. But hey, I am an optimist too. I am looking forward to this new and unexpected friendship. But again, this is my side of the story!

"Hey Siri, call Anshuman" - this was me after wrapping up the long last week at work. In the past, this phone call was inevitable during or after a chain of long weeks - some casual chit chat, cribbing about work, remembering good old school days and concluding it with what the future would be like. It was different this time though. I rushed to end the call as soon as Siri responded with "Calling Anshuman".

It has been more than 3 months since we lost Anshuman and this is for the first time that I have tried to gather all my thoughts and write something about this loss. Just like anybody who knew him, I had a hard time accepting his tragic demise. He was young, healthy (until he wasn't) and as genuine as a person can be. So, when Supreet called with this sad news, I was as speechless and numb as anyone would be. It took me few days to come to terms with it. The inability to express this loss resulted in me constantly evading saying a proper good bye or talking to the family in mourning. 

I first met Anshuman back in 2003. We were both new to the school. I'd be lying if I say that I remember how we became friends. But I'm glad we did. A quiet person otherwise, he used to come alive in conversations around certain subjects/topics (i.e. physics) or while showing his strength to us during recess. Given his passion for Mathematics, he was also a genuine candidate for the alias of "Maths" (we eventually acknowledged that this alias was apt for another friend of ours). We did , however, end up calling him "Sharath Kamal" for his exploits in table tennis. A trusted friend that he was, he always stood behind us in all our adventures, misadventures and eccentricity during school days. Later, we graduated from the same university in the same batch which resulted in having some memorable moments and conversations around life, career and college days. As we transitioned into the corporate life, our in person meetings were few and far between.  Yet, we made up for that with frequent telephonic conversations and chats. He was my friend. 

He was a loving person. An incredible human being. He stood by family and friends through thick and thin. He was also a fighter who had the willingness to try harder and the courage to get back up every time something knocked him down. The thing is, he was always there when it mattered - to cheer, to celebrate and to reassure. And now, he isn't. There are memories, and I am going to treasure them, forever. It is an irreparable loss to his family, and I pray that the tender memories soften their grief. 

To you my friend, farewell. Rest easy in sleep eternal. I'll see you on the other side.

2020 is coming to an end, finally! It would be an understatement to say that this unprecedented year tested our resolve in so many ways. Kitty O'Meara aptly captured the year in her poem:

And the people stayed home.
And they listened, and read books, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still.
And they listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently.
And the people healed.

2020 started for me on a very exciting note. I was determined to pursue my new year resolutions and had plans in place for it. I was also preparing hard for some compelling new job opportunities while being quietly confident about it. March 9th was when I started working from home after new COVID cases surfaced in Pune. As I moved on from Symantec (now Broadcom) after nearly two and half years of working with some of the finest people, my "virtual" farewell introduced me to the effect of lockdown - it was as good as it can be and yet it lacked a certain "feel" that you get when you are around people. Few days later, I joined my new organization "virtually" - considering the circumstances I was both grateful as well as pleasantly surprised with my smooth onboarding. What followed was an extended period where personal life and work challenged each other for the higher ground within the confines of an apartment. I believe that life has more or less been the same for people like me across the world. 

Although it is always adviced to appreciate life, 2020 taught this in it own hard way. It also allowed me to spend some extra time with the near and dear ones "virtually". I tried the recipe of some new dishes, celebrated every weekend and festival with more vigour and spent a considerable amount of time playing multiplayer games. In a nut shell, 2020 was like a curveball and while I did not quite hit a home run, I managed to avoid the strike - and I am more than happy and grateful for it.

I am looking forward to 2021 in a very different way. There is hope that we'll soon see the back of these uncertain times. Until then and beyond, it's time to live in the moment, look at the upside and do the best that I can.

To me and to all, Happy New Year!